Lately I've been inundated with deadlines of all sorts. Many quantifiable, and many personal and internal. It's a draining and overwhelming feeling. I've felt the closest I've ever been to what I assume is a panic attack this year. They've all been brought on by different things, but they've gotten pretty bad at times.
These have made me wonder: is what I'm working so hard towards really worth the trouble? I have to admit that it's been very demotivating at the best of times. Being in a difficult and often unrewarding industry also plays a huge part in this. My unquenchable desire to leave a mark in some noteworthy way drives me to push myself constantly & feel guilty when relaxing and doing nothing. I can practically feel the hours burning away into nothing. This is both a helping hand and a curse.
I guess that what I'm working towards is worth the work and struggle, as is all other things worth working towards. After all, nothing makes me feel more accomplished than releasing a piece of music or writing that I'm very proud of and believe in. I guess some of the trick lies in not losing sight of that in the long-run.
"Follow your highest excitement."