Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Coward

How I write these words down
With a numb sense of calm
A faint but strong sense of "it's all gonna be alright"
After all that's happened,
I have no idea
I do not yet know how to feel about it all
But can already tell that the anger is resolute
And final
And boiling beneath
Yet controlled and well contained
How you can bear to look into your own eyes
Is another question altogether
How you could douse the lights again
So suddenly & without care
While eyes try to adjust to the jarring dark
Falling & picking up the fragments
Found on the struggle back to the door
I don't know if I ever want to turn the lights back on
To see you again
But if that day should come
Should I find myself thrust back onto those barren grounds
I will not shy away
I will take my medicine without flinching
For it is what I deserve
And I will look away for the last time
After one more sweeping
Longing
Regretting
Despairing
Disappointing
Moment.

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